The three most frequently asked questions:

1. Are you dating Matt Branch?
No. I repeat, No. He is like my best friend. Like a brother. A BROTHER. I am not Greek, I do not hit on my family.

2. Do you like Nicky Costales?
Again, no. Me and Nick went out for like 30 seconds in freshman year. We are better off as friends. Very good friends. Although, knowing Nicky, you can't be friends with him without having a great appretiation for his form. He is a sexy beast. Just not one that I want to date.

3. Are you going out with Marielle?
Now, this is the most frequently asked question. And I'm just wondering, how'd ya know!!?? I told Brigitte not to tell anyone!! The whore! Okay. In case you you're on the slow side, that was a JOKE. Marielle and I are not dating. She is my best friend. And sometimes when best friends get drunk and have sleep over parties, they have pity sex. But that only happened like, twice, or something.

Ryan, no nasty thoughts. You cannot watch.

So it's been a while, hasn't it? Alot has gone on, but not much worth mentioning.

Things are over between John and I, and surprisingly, I didn't really feel too bad about it. I mean, it hurt my pride and my feelings, I really did like him, but we both wanted different things out of the relationship so its probably a good thing we broke up now than later when I get all attatched and stuff. I hate how I get like that sometimes, I'm much too dramatic and much too much of a romantic not to complicate things, but I think we're doing good thus far. I'm assuming we're still friends, but I'm not quite sure what he wants. It would really suck to have known him for so long and not be his friend, he really is an awesome person. I'm just done with the random hook-up/making out/no real emotion thing (Not that I want something way too serious either... I just want... you know, "moon eyes")... I did it all year and I'm tired of it. I want to be with someone who likes me... who really really likes me... I deserve that much.

Anyhoo, I'm on the prowl already. I went to St. Marks place with Brig the other day which was rad, we had an awesome time. Unfortunately Stones couldn't meet up with us. Ah well, no more pity sex for him. We're jail bait anyway. I've fallen in love. I don't know his name and I probably will never see him again. But he wore a police helmet, carried a night stick, had the front of his t-shirt splattered with blood, and was tragging a bag behind him. And he was singing a ska song. Le sigh. Perhaps Timmy is right, perhaps I am rather on the boy crazy side. Or maybe I'm just on the rebound, as is so typical of me. So St. Marks was awesome, uthe fight awaiting me when I got home not so awesome, talking to Ryan until the wee hours of the morning awesome again.

Matt is absolutely insane. I love him.

I'm probably visiting Gio in TX for thanksgiving, and then he's coming to NY for christmas, if all works out according to my brilliant beyond brilliant plan.

I made 1 aquaintance so far at Newtown... her name is Carmen and she's a sophmore, but we have the same lunch period and she came and sat next to me. Damn my shyness. Anyway, she's pretty nice and funny and all... my complete opposite, but great anyway.

I'm missing everyone like crazy- Marielle, roma, laura, matt, brig, katy, ed, nicky... everyone. I even miss just sort of seeing Steve and Robbie whenever I could... Hell, I even miss Ben. Phwoar. No more wallowing in self pity for today, I'm off to find guitar tabs. Hopefully showing off the next time Marielle/Brig come over might help me get over being so freaking shy without them around. Adios.

Does the world ever seem like a nightmare
Some suffer but the other ones don’t care
What does it matter if its going on elsewhere
Like it doesn’t happen of it's not happening here
Theres a girl with only a mother and her dad just won't seem to bother
No love so she finds a lover
Now she has a child who doesn’t have a father
When the Communists turn into the terrorists
But the axis came before the soviets
And before that came the confederates
We’ll always have a war to fight
You can count on this
With every cure there comes another sickness
The Earth dies with every bit of progress
We've gone deaf to the cries of oppressed
What we need is Jesus to redeem us
Now the world doesn’t work cause we’ve broken it
And we need dope or Prozac just to cope with it
Now the beast speaks it's peace the congress
Plans to Propagate
Proposition 666
Hitler’s still alive in the knives of abortionists
And the news twist the truth like contortionists
And they wonder what happened to humanity
You say peace but were headed for calamity
Whoa O O I hope the Prince of peace is coming soon
Whoa O O We'll learn to make a plowshare from a gun
Cause we won't need them when the kingdom comes
We long for the day when we will see the heavens and the earth as they should be

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever So we can stay like this forever And we'll never miss a party cause we keep them going constantly And we'll never have to listen to anyone about anything cause it's all been done and it's all been said we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love...

Altered. Thats how the summer before my senior year of highschool left me. There's probably a better word to describe it, but knowing me and my lack of extraordinary vocabulary skills, it would take me a hundred years to find. But back to the original topic of discussion, altered. It was also the summer of firsts for me, of new beginings. After all, each year is just a new adventure, isn't it?

This was my first summer without Laura, my first summer without Rob, my first summer with a job. It began simple enough, outings to central park with my group of friends, essentially known as the "sins"- Matt, Marielle, Brigitte, Katy, Karen, Oscar, JK, and Jillian. There were the few parties, regular hangouts at my, Marielle, or Matt's house, and frequent phone calls... typical of any summer vacation, as well as trips to the beach... or just to Holy Cow Park... the official meeting place of the sins. And as school begins, I know I'll long for midnight phone calls, walks in the rain, park benches, and screaming along to Brand New songs while making empenadas and brownies.

And although I didn't quite belong to the fellowship any longer... I did belong to a group of friends I've known since freshman year, a group that endeared the whiney emo side of me ("Jen, thats the most emo thing I've ever heard! I love you! 'Follow your heart', oh god the sun is setting, we can't let Jen see it or she'll start to cry"-Jillian) and loves me despite the ego-centric nature I tend to have. People who have never asked me to change who I am, never forgot my birthday, never complained about having to cheer another one of us up ("Why do you like him?" "I don't know.. he was just nice and funny and stuff..." "Funny what? Does he smell funny? Funny looking..? I told you you should have voted for Keisha!"- Brig/Matt) and never failed to come up with ridiculous analogies ("Jen your on the road to adultery!! Jen.. wait no.. relax... Jen don't cry... its more like a highway anyway, and as long as you don't get off at exit 14 you're fine!!" "You're on the plane of love... but I'm not in the control panel, I'm more one of those guys in the shiney yellow vests with the glowsticks... guiding you. And Eddie is the copilot... because he likes to fligh as high as a kite" "Eddie has trouble tying his own shoes... if he's the co-pilot, I'm selling my ticket to Matt and telling him it's first class"- Katy/Brig).

I'm not even sure of exactly what I'm trying to say... and I guess it doesn't matter anyway. But my four best friends, Marielle, Brig, Matt, and Katy have changed my life this summer. They've become part of me... to the point where I can imagine the things Matt would say if he were with me and the inside jokes that would become of me and Brig if she were with me. I can imagine what Katy would say when I'm trying to make a decision or when I do something somewhat naughty, and I can picture Marielle spazing out and making me laugh when I'm upset... and if not suceeding, crying right along with me.

Although Matt and Katy were away all summer, I talked to them on the phone all the time... and sometimes thats all I needed. I saw Brig almost everyday, even if it was just brunch between summer school and work, and I talked to Marielle every night.

Out of everyone, I believe it was Marielle I got closest to... and I just want her to know how much she means to me. As for the whole group of "Matt's angels", its awesome to have so many girl friends... I never really had so many before.

You don't know fun until you sit around someones room listening to Konstantine and crying, or screaming Brand New lyrics while jumping up and down. You don't know friendship until you go into a home filled with people of a completely different culture than your own and are embraced as family, and you don't know love until you've called someone from outside a dunk'n donuts in the pouring rain crying your eyes out because of things going on at home and your not being able to get the courage to go back... and then someone giving that to you.

Sometimes I long for the days when 10 week summer vacations lasted a million years and still ended too soon, but then I remember all that I've learned and all that I've gained and all of the people that I love... and I know that I wouldn't trade it in for the world. I guess sometimes things just don't make as much sense as you want them to.

So monday was the mass fiesta... and I had a great time. I hadn't seen John all summer, so it was nice to finally see him again. 7 weeks is way too long... I really missed him. He got me a really cool bracelet from Greece... and I hope he apreciates the humor in the pimped out Mr. Burns who sings "for the love of money". Although I do feel stupid for some stupid stuff... anyway... not getting into that now.

As good as seeing John finally, was seeing Matt. Wow its been 9 weeks and I missed him so much... even though we talked on the phone a bit. I can't imagine being so far away from him during college. It was so bad that like half way through the summer I was imagining the inside jokes we might of had if he were here... I know... tres tres pathetico, but i what can I say? I love him sooo much. Seeing Eddie and Adam and Kwamy was also great... they're sooo rad, I loved just hanging around them. Stones and Ant showed up too... as well as 40 bajillion other people. Water fight was fun... the whole Marielle/Eddie fiasco was brilliant. Adam has the potential of a criminal mastermind. I felts o bad cause Brig got sick and had to go home... she was really looking forward to it.

Sunday night was soo much fun.. Marielle and Brig came over and we cooked like 30 million empanadas and like 40 pounds of rice... and we hung out in my room screaming lyrics to Brand New songs (Is this what you call a get away? Tell me what you got away with cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish, I've seen more guts in 11 year old kids. So have another drink and drive yourself home, I hope theres ice on all the roads. And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt and again when your head goes through the windsheild!!) and tried on clothes and just sat around and talked. I like never have girl friends over... its always the boys so it was alot of fun for me... I dunno...

Yesterday was soo freaking stressful... I had like the worst day ever and I was all crying for no reason and I just felt really crappy. I even went home instead of staying over Eri's cause I wanted to be alone and I knew I'd be so annoying if I stayed... I wanted to sleep in my own bed and talk to Marielle and el greco and try and cheer up. Well.. called John, his mom picked up and called me "sweetie"... which was nice cause no ones ever called me that before... and it kind of made me feel nice. He was out with the dings so I called his cell just to say hi and to tell him to call me when he got home... which I dunno if he did cause I fell asleep early. So instead Marielle cheered me up and made me feel ridiculous again... it was great.

This is off topic, but Van is such a great person to hug. In fact, I'm pretty sure other than Spuddy he's my favorite person to hug. He hugs big... and he always kisses my head. I love that, man.

Anyway, so today we went to visit Binghampton U. and Ithaca college... I fell in love with Ithaca... I mean... It was just perfect for me. Its sooo far away from home... but I loved it anyway. Ithaca itself is a really small city... and its all vintage and artsy and theatres and awesomeness. There are all these thrift shops and cool restaurants and although its small, i really like it. The only downfall is that its such a tiny town and 5 minutes in a car and your back in the middle of no where... like its all farmland. The school is amazing... I really love it and am hopefully going back for an open house... but its like $33,000/year after room and board. I totally cannot afford that. And unless I get some major financial aid and I up my SAT scores from 1100 to 1300 I dunno if I'll get enough scholarship to go. But I'm so afraid of being far away from home. I mean... thats all I ever used to want... I just wanted to get away... Now I'm not so sure if thats what I want... or what I need. I don't know. Upstate NY is better than like Cali or something. And I do need to grow up sometime. If I stay at home I know that I won't get that. Binghampton is alot cheaper ($12,000 after room and board) and its a really good school.... but Ithaca is just such a perfect fit. I don't know. I'm just all confused and stuff.

Eri is so stupid... Quote of the day:

Eri: "Oh my god, JP... you and the greek have to come to red lobster with me. The bread is sooo good" yadda yadda yadda bread bread bread (its amazing sometimes how much she can talk about food and enthrall her listeners)
Me: "ha ha... they should call it 'bread lobster'"
Eri: *hysterical laughter for 50 years*

I love her... lol she's so odd. We got these "energy drinks" (or at least what we told aunt ivonne they were) later on in the night and we really couldnt stop laughing about the whole bread lobster thing. I turn into such an idiot around her. Its all the diet snapple's fault. Phetelyomene (or something like that) causes brain damage. And me and Eri have been drinking diet snapple for 40 years.... and by 40 I mean like 7. And then I was lying down in her lap and the "energy drink" can was on my head and I exclained, "Gah! Whats on my head!?" in a stupor, and Aunt Ivonne said quite casually "Erica's boob" and then I really couldnt stop laughing. And I started thinking about bread lobster again and "Hunky" and Yanni and I was gone for like 45 minutes hysterically laughing... and then I fell asleep. And Eri kept poking my head asking if I was awake and when I didn't respond she hit me until I really was awake or at least couldnt pretend to be sleeping anymore and again went the laughing. She really is insane.

I'm off to bed everyone. Much love <33

PS Romsie you rock my socks