Motivate me
I don't know whats wrong with me anymore... but I don't think these feelings I have are normal. I don't think it's normal for it to be so hard to be happy. I haven't gone to school in 2 days and I'm not even sick. I just can't bear to get out of bed. I just don't feel like doing anything anymore. A couple days a go I gave myself a real scare, I wasn't trying to commit suicide or anything 'cause God knows I don't want to die, but I sort of over dosed on Advil. I don't know what got into me but I remember crying and trying to make sure I slept and didn't wake up for a while. It's all a big blur... but I remember that I took alot of pills. ALOT. I dont know how many I took but it was about a handful I think. I know there's not much left in the bottle, and that I woke up throwing up. I sort of told Jessie, and she got really worried. Let it be known that I don't want to die. Sometimes I'm just so sick of life... I just want to disappear for a while... but I don't want to DIE. I just really wish I could be happy. Sometimes I am... sometimes I pretend I am. I lose track... sometimes I can't even remember what happy feels like. Real happy. Not this happy while I'm on the phone for 20 minutes with my boyfriend and when I hang up I get into a fight with dad and everything disapears.
It's so hard... especially becqause I know he doesn't love me. Not really. Lately he's been sick and the other day I was sick in bed and he didn't even care. He didn't even ask how I felt. He just looked at me and started ranting about how selfish I am and how I should take care of him and how that my sickness isn't that big a deal and he's practically dying and how I don't pay enough attention to me. And I tried telling him how I felt... this emptiness I mean. And he went on and on about how I don't even know what depression is and stuff and how I'm lazy and selfish. And how I make myself sick. And that got me really going... I mean he doesn't even care. Selfish bastard. Here I am, trying to do the best I can... trying so hard and he doesn't care. NOthing will ever be good enough for him and it... I don't know. I guess it just hurts.
And then theres all this stuff with Richie... and God knows I love him so much, he's the brother I never had. But it's so hard to help him and cheer him up and be strong for him when I can't even be strong for myself.
Tim is doing better thank God... he has no idea how it breaks my heart to see him like this. suicidal? I don't know how I could live without him... I'm not sure why he has that affect on me, but he does.
Things with Steve are good. I mean, I really love him. More than any boy ever.... and mostly everyone knows, I tend to fall in love every 5 minutes. I say it all the time on here, but just because I never want there to be a day when I don't say it. That's how much he means to me. And it's not like I wouldn't be able to live without him or anything... I'm not clingly or obsessed, I just... love him.
I still need to write an english essay that was due forever ago but I can't write. Not now. Not ever. I just feel so empty. I can't write. I just can't.... I'm afraid to tell Mr.I that's why I can't write because he'll send me to the guidance counsler and I really hate her. I don't want to talk to her. But it's so hard 'cause I break down crying every single day, in school or whatnot and I hate it. But I can't stop it. I just feel so alone sometimes. I can't bear it. I know that I'm loved, but its so hard to believe it sometimes. It's not that I feel unloved... I just feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. On occassion I feel happy. Sometimes sad... but more or less nothing. I don't want to get out of bed and I always feel miserable. And it's harder than usual to be happy... just so hard. And it's like I have no one to turn to. I need to tell someone... anyone how this hurts. And counseling isn't helping. nothing is. I know this won't last long... I know it's a test. I just wish it would end. I want it to end. I scare myself sometimes... and I'm all depressing and boring. I used to be fun and happy and giggly... I remember that. But it's so hard now. I'm no fun to be with and I don't know... I just know that I'm sick of this and I wish it would end already. I just want it to go away. ugh.
My so called life
I don't like what it says here. I'll update it when I feel inspired.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Please don't leave me
Okay so today was relatively boring. My sister and I dared to venture off of our block in search of Genovese, wich means we had to walk 12 blocks in 3 feet of snow. That is a very long way. And when we weren't walking in snow, we walking through huge puddles... puddles that could be well mistaken for small ponds. At one point we had to travel over a huge montain of snow to cross the street.... huge meaning 4 ft. Now we must keep in mind that I am but 5'4"...almost. Anyway. Mount Scary Snow mountain the size of a small ladder seemed prtty firm and I was able to walk ontop of it. Until I fell through the snow... and couldn't get out. I was stuck. And my dear sister aiming to rescue me, fell through the snow too. So there we were trapped in a mountain of snow sourounded by a small lake fighting for our lives. Since I am undoubtedly writing this now, I survived the encounter. But although now I am safe and warm, I had a close encounter with death. By the time I got home, I was covered up to my waist with melted snow. My jacket and 3 sweaters kept the uper half of my body from actually encountering the cold. So I got home and took a hot shower... wich was fun. Until I got out and faced the cold again.
I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.
Tommorrow I want to play in the snow but Kim's not going to be home for a few days so I have no one to play with. If any of you reading this loves me, or doesn't love me, or hates me, but wants to keep me from dying of boredom anyway. Please give me a ring. Especially those living in or around the surounding areas of Ozone Park, NY... *cough*Rob*cough*
And although I have nearly cheese-sandwiched the phrase to death, Steve, I love you. And I don't know how to keep it from losing it's meaning or sounding like an idiot when I say it. Because I mean it... but come on, lets face it. I don't exactly come off as the sappy type to those close to me... by choice or whatnot.
Oh and Chris took back his PS2 before I could finish GTA3. Poo.
I believe I can fly... FLAFLOOPA!!! Muahahahaha!! FLA! FLOO! PA! Ahahahahaha!!!!
Mucho amor <33 nite nite
The fellowship lives on
Like grape gatorade it is forever immortal and everlasting.
But how will we get the pink cascading monkeys into the neon green latex jump suits?
PS... War ruins everything. Poo.
Monday, February 17, 2003
fear
My dad won't let me go out because of the bomb threats. I hate war. This feeling of panick, and anger and rrr... so many emotions. so very many...
Sunday after next
I have come to the decision that this blog needs a face lift... I'm just so bored with the template and everything.
The reason I haven't written in so long, is that I have been taking a break.
You sound surprised... a break from writing?
No no no... never... I've just been working on some other projects. They've been taking time out of my weblog. Things involving a book with a tuba that is not really a tuba, it is really a giant frog pretenting to be a tuba. It is not a tuba because it has never produced any musical song.
Anyway, while I brainstrom for ways to spruce this thing up, I am proud to say that Valentines day was excellent and hershey's kisses are now my favorite kind of candy.
I wish that i didnt fit any categories.
you know... like "punk" or "prep" or "mod"
I wish the world were brighter and more creatiev
I wish my room was painted bright orange
I wish that instead of all those posters I have I could just have abstract paintings and pictures of my friends
I wish that people wore more hats
fedoras especially
i want a fedora
and a ferret
a pet ferret... one named Socrates
I wish that people went out not caring about what others thought of them as... that everything would be happy and musical
i wish people sang and danced through the streets
and that you could rollerskate through school
i wish my house had no corners... just tubes and tuneels and everything would be round
i wish i wasnt so this or that... that i could just spontaneously think up things no one has everthought up before
Everything else that has gone on are things that I would not like to particularly talk about at the moment.
That's all for now. much love <33 * Asta
Steve, I love you.
FLAFLOOPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, February 16, 2003
Just wrote a super long post and it got deleted... I cant stay on much lonegr to re-type it so I'll update later tonite. mucho amor<33 Asta*
Thursday, February 13, 2003
Again I go unnoticed
Today was pretty good but I just can't seem to concentrate. I'm really hoping that Mr.I isn't there tommorrow because I didn't do my essay wich was due today. rrr... I just can't concentrate at all. Everything inside me is tense and I don't know why. I'm trying so hard to write but I just can't. If he is there, I'll have to email it to him and try and make some sort of excuse for myself... but I just can't write. It's impossible. The only reason English class is hell for me is because there's o much going on... so much pain. I just feel so empty at moments and so happy at others. I often can't decide what type of mood I'm in because of this. I think I may be bipolar. Everyday is the same... just as frustrating and sickening. I'm trying to be there for my friends and I can't. I just feel so helpless... Like I can't breathe. I try to be happy and funny and great for everyone and I don't know how to be great for myself. I can't help me any longer. Someone.. anyone.. rescue me. I'm falling and all this trying to be strong has made me weak inside. I'm falling... I'm breaking... help me...
full name: Jenise-Marie Pollock
Nicknames: Jenna, Jen, Jenny, punk ballerina, jalepeno, Niece
birthday: July 31
age: eleventy seven
astrological Sign: Leo
favorite food: pizza/spanish food/pastellijos (can't spell it)
least favorite food: hamburgers/beans
favorite colors: red and black/yellow and navy blue
favorite animal: manatee/dolphin
school: SFP aka hell
dream: to somehow make the world better, rockstar, writer
eyes: brown/hazel... ever so boring
height: 5'4"
hair: reddish brown... very very dark
siblings: Kimberly, 12 along withan assortment of half siblings: Angie 14, Alex 20; and ex-step siblings Scott 19, Danny 16, and Cameron 12
location: New York
sex: female
righty of lefty: righty
************************
root beer or dr. pepper: grape gatorade/fruit punch
sunshine or rain: rain
vanilla or chocolate: chocolate
summer or winter: fall
love or lust: love
diamond or pearl: diamond
sleep with stuff animals: yes
ever broke/sprained/fractured anything: yeah my ankle thrice, my wrist, and my growth plate.
do you sing in the shower: who doesnt?
who are your best friends: Jessuh, Jordan, Timmy and the fellowship
do you share secrets with people: only a select few
favorite flower: daisy
where's your favorite place to go: Outside at Angie's old house...her roof... it was dark... stars... beautiful...
funniest thing you've seen today: Laura and I plotting to tackle Josh and Josh inflicting pain upon us
what are you scared the most of: hopelessness and war
how many rings do you wait for when the phone rings: how the heck am i suppossed to know?
do you have more guy friends or gal pals: more guy friends
*******************
parents names: Rey and (used to be) Daisy
pets: Elmo my puppy (he's actually 10) lives with Angie
tattoos: none
loved somebody so much it made you cry?:yes
been in a car accident?: several
favorite holiday: Christmas
favorite day of the week: wensday... dance!!!
favorite toothpaste: colgate
favorite Drink: grape gatorade
preferred type of ice cream: cookies n cream
when was your last hospital visit?: a couple weeks ago
have you ever been convicted of a crime?: nope
which single store would you choose to max out your credit cards?: tower records/Pac sun/ Hot topic
what do you do most often when you are bored? go online, play guitar, clean, sleep
name the person that you are friends with who lives the farthest:Jordan in Misery and Joel in Washington
favorite all time TV shows: Will and Grace... omg I just missed it filling out this stupid thing!!!... Everwood, and Gilmore girls.
***************
whom do you love? my family and friends and everyone in the world. I'm a very loving person...
if you could have any job at all in the world, what would it be? actor/musician/writer/artist... preferably a writer
do you believe in love? absolutely
do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone? yes, it's just a matter of whether you find that person or not.. sometimes they're right under your nose...
is romance important in your life? I guess
are you or have you ever been in love? yes
have you ever kissed in the rain? no... something to try
would you be willing to embarrass yourself just to see your significant other smile?: I guess
have you ever kept items from particular dates (ticket stubs, receipt from dinner, etc.)?: sometimes
do you believe in soulmates?: yes
do you believe that you have already found your soulmate?: ::shrugs:: I might have and not know it yet
would you ever have sex with a person before you fell in love with them?: no... I wouldn't have sex 'till after I'm married
what is the longest relationship that you have ever been involved in?: a long time
do you want to get married?: yeah
do you believe in forever?: yeah
************
describe your dream wedding: small and pretty... just family and friends... people closest to me
what do you plan to do this summer?: work... hopefully I'll get an internship at the NY times...
describe your dream house: ...I dunno
how much money do you have in your wallet right now?: -5 bucks
************
made out with just a friend? no
been rejected? yes
used someone? no
been used? yes
been kissed? yes
done something you regret? no
************
color your hair? yes
have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? yes
floss daily?yes
own a webcam?yes
ever get off the damn computer? occasionally
***********
considered a life of crime?
considered being a hooker? no
considered being a pimp? no
are you psycho? phsyco...me? noooo....
split personalities? my prescious....
schizophrenic? the voice in my head is telling me to say I'm not. So, no.
obsessive? with music and writing
obsessive compulsive? I've been called a compulsive liar by more than one person....
panic? yes
anxiety? yes
depressed? sometimes
current worry: the war to come
current favorite celebrity: goobers.
*******
friend(s) you go to for advice? Jordan/Rob/Laura/Jess
friend(s) you have the most fun with? The fellowship/Jess
********
dark or blond hair? dark
mr. sensitive or mr. funny? funny
dark or light eyes? light
all american, homey g, punk, mod or grunge? punk
*********
chocolate milk or hot chocolate? chocolate milk
mcdonalds or burger king? mcdonalds
marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend? perfect friend
sweet or sour? sweet
sappy/action/comedy/horror? romantic comedy/action
cats or dogs? dogs
ocean or pool? i like the lake
cool ranch or nacho cheese? cool ranch
with or without ice cubes? with
cake or cookies? depends
gloves or mittens? mittens are cute
chewing gum or hard candy? gum
lights on or off? off
**********
would you name a child of yours after you? no
what's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? 2 many to say
if you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like madonna, cher, roseanne)? nah
***********
do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? oh yes...
were you lying about your answer to the previous question? I never lie... did I tell you about the time I beat Jackie Chan in a street fight? True story...
do you actually know your social security number? no
do you actually know your ip address? yes
do you know what an IP address is?yes
do you know the four-character extension on your zip code? no
***********
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
when was the last time you let the people you love know you love them? Steve... before that it was Jordan
what do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? flaflooga is a REALLY cool word.... and Richie happy birthday I lover you soooo much.

Phillip
Who's Your Ideal Disney Guy?
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I taste like Peanut Butter.
I am one of the most blendable flavours; I go with sweet, I go with sour, I go with bland, I go with anything. I am practical and good company, but have something of a tendency to hang around when I'm not wanted, unaware that my presence is not welcome. What Flavour Are You?

Which Music Type are You?Find out!
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
This sadness alone.
I asmit it, sometimes my dad is actually cool. In fact, alot of the time he's quite entertaining. But the bad times outnumber the good times, and right now is one of those bad times. My day wasn't that bad, other than the fact that I was sick. And lots f funny things happened. I came home and talked to Steve and everything was great... until my dad came in and started cursing at me told me to hang up the phone because I was "hogging" it. And that was fine, no big deal, so I hung up. Then he went on and on cursing at me and telling me how everything bad that happened is all my fault and how I took away his "blessing" and "made" him curse. Then he brought up all my faults and just started telling me how horrible I am. It's hard to remain in a good mood like this. And I just can't take it sometimes, so of course I locked myself in my room and cried. And I hate crying... but I can't help it. It's like I just can't stop... my heart aches and my head hurts and everything feels empty. It's like he's trying to get me to hate myself or something (I'm not saying I do) and it's just like everytime something remotely good happens I come home and it's ruined.
I'm convinced my dad hates me, and nothing any of you say can make me not believe it. If you love someone, you don't go out of your way to make them feel like shit. You're not amused by every tear that bleeds. You don't hurt the person you're suppossed to care about most. I know for a fact he loves alot of things more than me... if he even loves me at all. For one, Jamie. He actrually says that she's the thing he loves most in the world. His girlfriend... not his kids. She hates me and is out to get me... literally. She want's to send me to boarding school and hates the way I dress... does he care? The answer: no... he doesn't. He also loves boxing more than me. He doesn't even care when I've been out late unless I ruin his plans. When I got mugged, was he in any way sympathetic that I was scared shit-less for the next 2 weeks? No. He yelled at me... he YELLED at me. After I could have been shot or something. I was the mistake... I wasn't even suppossed to be born. I was also the reason my mom contracted AIDS and died. He told me that. And the sad thing is... he's right. If I hadn't been born, my mom would have never needed a blood tranfusion and she would have never contracted HIV. Apparently, in his eyes I'm to blame for whatever goes wrong. I really really hate him.
Don't try and tell me he loves me, because I know he doesn't. You don'ty deliberately hurt the people you love over and over and over. None of you have a parent who hates you. In my case, my dad is my only parent. He's all I have... and I don't even have him. I'm all alone. None of you know what it's like to know that you're almost completely alone in the world. You don't know what it's like to have no one to guide you and help you learn wrong from right. No one to comfort you when you're heart is broken and your soul uis bleeding. No one to see you through the bad times. No one to help you when you're sick. No one to even care whether you live or die. I have no one. I know I have friends who love me and blah blah blah... but it's not the same. I'd do anything for my dad to actually care about me. Just to hear him say "I love you". He doesn't even care that I'm sick. In fact he blames me for it. He says I can control it (the anxiety) and that I shouldn't let it get to me. He's all Jesus Jesus Jesus and tells me that if I was really christian I'd be healed by "just claiming Jesus Christ's name" and when I say that I can't feel my fingers (hypotension) or that I just feel really weak, he tells me that he's sick all the time and he still has to do stuff so I need to move on. When I was in teh hospital, he got all mad because I didn't pay enough attention to him. Oh poor him... While I was getting stuck with needles and poked and tested and moved and passing out and going unconsious and being scared and just wanting someone to hold me and tell me that everything will be alright, He was sad because I watched TV and didn't engage in gloriouse conversation. Oh wait... I remeber now, I had a freaking tube down my throat and was drugged/not even concsious half the time.
I think that's why I'm so dependent on my friends and stuff. I don't have anyone else who remotely gives a shit about me. Love is patient, Love is kind... I wish I had that kind of love...
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
A moment like this
Just wrote a super long post... but lost it. No time to update due to satan's homework assignments... Tommorrow: Another day at the gates of hell.
Oh and Steve and I might not be doing anything Froday wich kind of makes me sad, but I would rather not think about it.
This is how it is with insomnia. Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. The insomnia distance of everything, you can't touch anything and nothing can touch you.
mucho amor till I'm done studying <33 *Asta
I miss you Jordan, Timmy, Joshykins, and Jessuh!!
PS. Steve, I love you
The fellowship lives on
........................
I've come to the conclusion that I'm a very needy person. I don't know what I'd do without my friends and if the fellowship never formed. I don't know what I'd do if I never met Laura or Rob or Richie. If Ed and Roma weren't around life would be boring. Steve makes everything right in the world and I love him more than anything. Timmy and Jordan and Jessuh (and Laura) know exactly what I need to hear and know how to deal with me. I love you guys.

The Forgotten- only you know what has transpired as
the seeds of time wash away your existence.
~Dark Angel Quiz~
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What do people say behind your back? Find out @ digitalcharisma

What day are you?
Monday's Child is fair of face
Tuesday Child is full of grace
Wednesday's Child is full of woe
Thursday's Child has far to go
Friday's Child is loving and giving
Saturday's Child works hard for a living
But Sunday's Child is fair and wise, and good and gay
Monday, February 10, 2003
Furry woodland creatures who want government secrets, probably aren't furry woodland creatures.
I am not a government spy. I don't care what you guys think. I don't care what people have told you. I especially don't give a damn what the government says. I do not work for them, I am not spying on you or anybody else, and I never tried to assassinate anyone.
Take for example last week, when you saw me in the bushes outside of your window. I was not spying on you for the government. You don't need to worry. Those binoculars weren't even mine. I found them in the bushes and I was just testing out their quality. I was in the bushes because I was looking for my copy of "Ax Battler" for the Sega Game Gear that I lost in 1991, but alas, I didn't find it. That notepad in my hand was just... well, you see; I keep an hourly journal. I'm not proud of it, but it helps me keep in touch with my feelings. I'm a sensitive person, and definitely not a government agent keeping notes on how many times you open your fridge, determining whether or not it is a secret morse code to a group of renegade socialists working for the electric company.
Why was I wearing a suit and dark sunglasses, with an earpiece and a pistol, crouching on top of the Spin Cycle shop off of University Avenue on Wednesday at exactly 3pm, when a certain Herbert Matthews walked out of a gas station across the street? Well that's a simple one: I just bought a suit, and I was testing its durability, especially when climbing on the rooftops of local businesses, which I admittedly do a lot, because, in short, I like to climb. The earpiece was actually a hearing aid. My hearing has diminished lately after attending the heavy metal rock and roll concert that was performed at one of the popular music venues in the downtown area. The pistol was a Nestle Crunch bar. They're so irresistible! I have no knowledge of this Herbert Matthews person, and what happened to him was a damn shame, but the police said that he was shot from a passing car, and not from the roof of a building across the street. The fact that he had attempted to steal File 458 from the FBI central top-secret archives last March had absolutely nothing to do with any of this. Even if it did, I wouldn't know. I'm just a lowly high-school student, and NOT a government spy.
Do I have a picture of me and the director of the CIA framed on my nightstand? Yes, I do, but that's only because we happened to go to the same elementary school, and were at a reunion. Do I have a steel briefcase of high-tech recording equipment that is small enough to fit anywhere in a room without being detected by civilians, and sophisticated enough to pass through metal detectors? Of course, but that was just because my uncle gives really wacky Hanukkah presents. Was I really inexplicably in Afghanistan last year? Well yes, but not so inexplicably; I enjoy visiting poor nations and seeing how they maintain hope even in such trying times. Have I really been trained to tear a man's heart from his ribcage with my bear hands? I cannot lie; it is so, but only has part of my yearly orientation working as a summer camp counselor. Kids are tough these days.
I am many things: a jerk, a cheapskate, a inconsiderate prick, an egomaniac, a heart-less, soul-less monster, a whiny, lame ego-maniac, and a fun-hating, trick-pulling, back-stabbing liar, but I am not a government spy. So calm down, relax, and try not to pay too much attention to your surroundings. All you'll develop is a sense of paranoia, or even worse, knowledge that all your worst fears are reality....
Ignorance is bliss, kids.
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Which Brand Of Clothing Do You Look Best In?
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uh....

conor oberst (bright eyes): you and conor are
moodily intense. go to a corner and cry
together, pansies!
who's your indie rock boyfriend?
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You're depressed. Really you are. And you
definitely have a reason. You often space out
and stare at things blankly, even if you're
normally hyper and energetic. This is because
nothing really seems important anymore. You
might just be sad right now, or you might be
manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa
and stuff'll be ok.
How Depressed are You?
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-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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seems like forever..
Okay... I haven't written in a VERY long time. I've been busy with some creative writing projects/stressed out lately, so I guess I'll give a breif (?) update.
Friday:
Hung out afterschool with everyone and it was so great. I think me and Laura tackled everyone with the exception of Josh (being that Laura probably would have never gotten off of him thus forcing us to call the police). We actually hurt Steve and I felt bad (sort of) about it. I mean I didn't mean to hurt him but it was really funny. After hanging out afterchool I went to Steve house and hung out and "watched" Ocean's eleven (The original). The parts I did see were good but the parts I didn't see were even better....mwuahahahahahaha.... Then my dad met Steve and it was weird and that was it. Oh and I went to church and remembered how much I dislike everyone.
Saturday:
around 10 pm Jess got here from upstate and we all went to the city to hang out. It was me, Jess, Sara, Jess' dad, Marty, JC (formerly known as sheep boy), and these two really cool DJ's I met for the first time - Spec and Los-1. We were suppossed to go to the Jeckle and Hyde but everything got messed up (as usual) so we just hung around Manhattan instead. I remember as soon as we stepped out onto the sidewalk this homeless guy started saying how he wished he had a family like ours (he thought we were all related...heh...) and how he ran away and stuff and he was all sad and he just walked away saying to himself "I wish I had a famiand stuff and it was just so sad. I wish I could have done something. Then we were walking around time square and stuff looking for a place to eat (it was jessica's sweet 16) and this other homeless guy came up to us and started joking around saying "Wasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap" and "Hey would you like to donate to the National negro Kentuky fried chicked foundation" and he was just hilarious. Johnny (Jessie's dad) kept on acting like they were buds and stuff and it was just really funny. Then John put in this mouth peice that made it look like his front teeth were missing and he was acting all weird and some tourists asked to take a picture with him and it was funny. I got to know Los-1 pretty well and he's kool... so is Spec. I got home around 5 am and then Sara, Jess, and I went to bed.
Sunday:
Danced of course and when we got home me and my dad noticed we didnt have our keys and my grandpa left for the day and locked the doors and there was no way to get into contact with him. So we had to break into my bedroom through the fire escape. AFter Jess left my dad grounded me (dont ask why) for a month. No TV, phone, music, friends, computer (only for homework), or video games.
Monday:
After school me and Steve were kissing (goodbye) and a little while into it we hear rob say (from the bus stop) "Do you two need an oxygen tank or something????" and it was funny. tee hee.
Today:
went on retreat, made friends with my retreat leader, played hackysack, came home, and got in trouble.
Well That's about all the semi-interesting stuff. More news later on my report card. much love <33 (sort of)
bye
ps. In case you cant tell I'm REALLY pissed off. *Throws a shoe at the wall*
Steve I love you.



