Sometimes, I am numb. Other times, I feel too much. See, that's my problem... I bleed for everything.

So birthday week will be over soon. Firstly I'd like to quickly wish Karen and John a very happy birthday. I talked to Tim just about everyday this week, which always makes birthday week extra special. Today, Karen, Brig, Marielle, and I hit Roosevelt feilds and I bought lotsa stuff which was kind of cool. Tommorrow, Dannie, Van, Karen, Brig, Marielle, Stones, Anthony, Lars, Bea, Natalie, Jessie (LopTard), Eddie, Roma, Eri, JK, Rich, and I (and whoever else shows up) are going to the city and hanging out, hitting the Jeckyl and Hyde for lunch, which should be alot of fun.

Feeling a bit nostalgic. As troublesome as the last year has been, Its also been pretty freaking amazing. I made alot of new friends, and found out who my real ones are. I finally got over Steve, or at least as over as I'm going to get, and met the most amazing guy in the world. I became super close with the deadly sins (Matt, Marielle, Brig, Karen, Jillian, JK, and Katy) as well as pretty goof friends with some members of the DS ("Dork squad"... Ben, Zinc, Van, John, Juin, Kwamy, etc etc). I realized how much some people mean to me (Laura, Roma, Nicky, Ed, Dannie), and did a bit of growing up. I've loved and I've lost. I had an absolutely ridiculous feud with a friend, and as bad as it was, it really helped me grow up a bit. Miriam got married, Aaron and Carlos got engaged (not to eachother), and the Bea, 'Nise, Natalie trio reunited from childhood. I dealt with alot of things having to do with my mom, dated a guy with a car (for like a month, lol), got kicked out of school, but started going to therapy to deal with my panic disorder. I realized my passion for writing, and became a full fledged art geek (Fantastic four!!). I became pretty good friends with a Duck and a guitar playing squirrel, and was tackled in a museum. I saw Emils booty, and became ultra close with Jillian and JK. I know I drifted from certain people, and I feel really bad about that... but sometimes thats what you need. You need to drift. I discovered that somethings are worth fighting for... and that when you stand up for something you believe in and everyone agrees with you, you're determined, but when you stand up for something you believe in and no one else agrees, you're stubborn.This year was full of challenges, and although I didn't always come out of them victorious, I always learned. Last year was the year of purple cellophane, and this year was the year of change. But who ever said that change was bad?

I've loved and I've hated... but mostly I've lived.

Happy birthday to me.

<33 Jen The Grand

Briggitte es un grande poulet, mais elle J'adore.

And just a side note. I miss John more than I've ever missed anything in my life... which is probably a little extreme. But man, 6 weeks is way too long to be away, Stupid greek kids. I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him. Stupid big eared moron. argh.

the other nite went to Marielles. She is the only person other than Jill and Pyro that I can dance around to rock music with. We were listening to "unbelievable" by thousand foot krutch and started a conga line. I lover her. Then we listened to Dashboard... I miss Jill sooososo much and her renditions to Dashboard songs

Me and Marielle and Brig: "I am vindicated I am selfish I am wrong I am right, swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along"
Jill: Singing loudly over us "I am in the closet! I am gay! I am gay! I am gay! I swear I'm gay... swear I knew it all along!!!"

I also miss her making fun of me

"Jen... Just follow your heart!! Oh nooo... the sun is setting!1 Quick, we can't let Jen see it! She'll start crying!!"

Sigh. I miss her and Matta nd Pyro and Timo and Roma and everyone I haven't seen all summer. Bleh

 
Warped info (contact me or Brig if you wanna buy tickets with us... cheaper shipping... also if you need a way there, we're not quite sure how we're getting there yet, but we'll all find a way together.)

Its august 7th, starting at 12pm, and the tickets are $32.75

Bands:


NORTH STAGE


New Found Glory
Coheed & Cambria
Taking Back Sunday
Flogging Molly
Anti Flag
Bouncing Souls
Bad Religion
NOFX

SOUTH STAGE

Yellowcard
Thursday
Story of the Year
Atmosphere
Sugarcult
International Noise Conspiracy
Tiger Army
Lars Frederickson and the Bastards

MAURICE STAGE


Rise Against
The Casualties
Rufio
Allister
Avenged Sevenfold
Matchbook Romance
Billy Talent
Piebald


VOLCOM STAGE


Guttermouth
Arkham
A Faith Called Chaos
The Briggs
Washington Social Club
Lennon
Letter Kills
The Kinison
Motion City Soundtrack


LYMAN SAYS


Opiate 4 the Masses
The Code
Madison
Candy Ass
Audio Karate
Jersey
Reeve Oliver
Melee
Amber Pacific
Rolling Blackouts
Early Man
Fear Nuttin' Band
Number One Fan

SMARTPUNK


The Bled
From First To Last
Dynamite Boy
Hidden In Plain View
Brazil
All Rights Reserved
Underoath
Trophy Scars
Underminded

ERNIE BALL


Patent Pending
Sarcasm
A Second Chance
Tokyo Rose
Bowling For Soup
Sometime Never
Much the Same


UPROAR

Anadivine
Amity
Don't Look Down
Halifax
Fire When Ready
Boys Night Out
Days Like These
Lightweight Holiday
Staring Back
Nor AM I

"will there ever be time enough? or are we just naive? i haven't just given up. oh, god i still believe. is patience still waiting?"- the juliana theory

Zinc's away message: i'm way too stoned to talk right now....

Boo... its birthday week!!

heres to cia

"Mix Tape"

I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup.You're always made up.And I'm sick of your tattoos,and the way you always criticize the Smiths... and Morrissey.And I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic.But when I say let's keep in touch,I really mean I wish that you'd grow up.This is the first song for your mixtape.It's short just like your temper,but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got to cool...I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup.You're always made up.And I'm sick of your tattoos, and the way you don't appreciate Brand New or meAnd I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic.But when I say let's keep in touch,I hope you know I mean I wish that you'd grow up.This is the first song for your mixtape.It's short just like your temper,but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got to cool...(yeah, but I wish you were my shadow.)

"Jude Law And A Semester Abroad"
Brand New

Whatever poisons in this bottle will leave me broken, sore and stiff But it's the genie at the bottom who I'm sucking at, he owes me one last wish So here's a present to let you know I still exist I hope the next boy that you kiss has something terribly contagious on his lips But I got a plan (I got a plan) To drink for forty days and forty nights A sip for every second-hand tick And every time you fed the line, “you mean so much to me” I'm without you Tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states The American boy you used to date who would do anything you say Tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states The American boy you used to date who would do anything you say And even if her plane crashes tonight she'll find some way to disappoint me, by not burning in the wreckage, or drowning at the bottom of the sea Jess, I still taste you, and thus reserve my right to hate you And all this empty space that you create does nothing for my flawless sense of style It's 8:45 (it's 8:45), the weather is getting better by the hour (rains all the time) I hope it rains there all the time And if you ever said you miss me then don't say you never lied I'm without you Tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states The American boy you used to date who would do anything you say Tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states The American boy you used to date who would do anything you say, who would do anything you say Never gonna get it right, you're never gonna get it [15x]Okay no more songs about you. After this one I am done.You're gone.[repeat untill end] Tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states The American boy you used to date who would do anything you say Tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states The American boy you used to date who would do anything you say

I know, I know. You all missed me dearly.

So thursday, "chilled" with Stones, Anthony, and Brig.  Ate some food, caught i, robot, wentto the park as usual.

Friday, on the phone all nite with people.

Saturday, park evangelism. Met some awesome people from Iowa- Ashley and Aaron. Went t manhattan that nite with them and Marvy Mar, Justin, Leanna, etc.

Sunday, church, more talking with Aaron who is awesome.

Monday- 2 months. sigh. Went to Marielles.

Now, at beas and stuff.

Quote of the day:
Derrel: "Jesus likes math because Jesus is God and God said let there be math... and then it was... Math."

Band of the day: Brand New

News of the day: Scuba ad Frappy are in luuuurve!!!

So heres the open invite. Next saturday is Envy (Karen)/Pride (moi)'s bithday celebration. So we're all goin to the Jeckle and Hyde and hanging out in the city and what not. If I haven't personally called you or anything yet its because I can't find my phone book. Sooo hopefully I shall find it, but if you somehow read this before I get in touch with you, give me a ring so I know yu're coming and giveyou details and stuff. Mi numero es (718) 845 5657.

Heres whos coming so far: Me, Karen, Brid, Marille, Anthony, Stones (maybe), JK, Eri, Natalie, Bea, Van the almighty (I think), and thats all I can member... so like I said, talk to me or Karen and we shall let you know... this means you roma.

And now a quote worthy comment from Van the almighty referring to my statement: "John, bring me back Zeus."

John's most likely response: "Bring you Zeus? Damnit woman, I AM Zeus" 

It made me feel a little better and think of him and his cockyness. One week down, 4.5 to go. I'm not really missing him yet, still living off of last monday's memories.

I feel like a real asshole. Only 2 people know why, and I'd like to keep it that way.

But there was a strong bad drawn, which made me feel really good and really bad at the same time.

Here's a peice of advice, don't break up with someone you're absolutely in love with for no reason and then become an asshole and ruin the little left that remains of the friendship.

I heart Larry. And Mr. Guy who works at starbucks who knows how I like my fraps without having to ask me. And Marielle the grand. And Josh the duck-like.

I heard a place not too far from here
Is handing out answersAbout why we are here
And it's a small town in a small world
And the congregation's small too
But somehow I think they're telling the truth
And in the same small town there is a girl
She's a good looker but she's mad at the world
And she's wondering about tomorrow and why she's here
She's sick and tired of using her sleeves to wipe her tears
And oh oh,You can tell by the look that's in her eyes
She's not that well
She's wishing someone would close their eyes
And picture this for just a moment to theirselves
And oh, at least that's what they say
She sits alone
She's a re-run queen
The sun shines through her window
Enough to make out her figurine
The neighbours look at her strange
'Cos she's lived there her whole life
And they still don't know her name
She likes to keep to herself
'Cos she can't find nobody else
And oh oh,You can tell by the look that's in her eyes
She's not that well
She's wishing someone would close their eyes
And picture this for just a moment to theirselves
And oh, at least that's what they say, yeah
I don't careWhat they say
She wanders through the town
To find this place she's heard about
Thinking maybe they can figure out what's wrong
And oh, they greet her with a smile
Saying they've been waiting for quite some while
Just to let her know she's worth more than she's ever dreamed of
And her heart opens wide
And for the first time in her life She feels the touch of Jesus deep inside
And oh, she wonders what went wrong
In a town where nothing's going on
And thinks of all the others that she knows
And she said Wanna leave out her name
She wanders through the town
To find this place she's heard about
Thinking maybe they can figure out what's wrong
And oh, they greet her with a smile
Saying they've been waiting for quite some whil
eJust to let her know she's worth more than she's ever dreamed of

Trying to smile

So John is officially gone. And Laura leaves in like 10 hours. And I spent much of last nite crying hysterically and calling her a whore. "Jen, you bitch, stop crying!" I wont see John for 6 weeks, and I'll talk to him at least once over that time; and I wont see Larrie for 4(?) or so, but at least we'll have emails. Must remember to sneak in phone call while at work.

So yesterday I either did a very stupid thing, or a very brave thing... can things be both? I called Matt. The logical part of me told me not to, that it was a bad idea, that it would complicate things. But since when do I listen to the logical part of me? So yeah, I was on the phone with him all nite until my phone died, which is why I'm barely functional at this time in the morning. It was nice, confusing, but nice. I'm still not completely sure whats going on inside of me, buthopefully I'll get a better grasp. OPh crap. Late for class... more during break...

<3 Jen

Larrie bring me back Orlando, and John, bring me back Zeus.

"Don't say we aren't right for each other, but the way i see it is....we aren't right for anyone else."

Favorite place to be kissed: collar bone/finger tips

Going to a Greek restaraunt for dinner tonite. My aunts told me to invite Yanni. I called, but he wasn't home. Thank god.

1 guess who this songs for.

Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground
Then you stumbled around for a good ten minutes
And I said I'd never seen anyone look so dumb before
And you laughed and said I still know how to turn you on though

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like that time I forgot to tell you about the scar
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you're not what I expected
But you're the only one who knows how to handle me
And you're such a great kisser and I know that you agree

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

I hope you can forgive me for that time
When I put my hand between your legs
And said it was small
Cuz its really not at all
I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down
Just to keep you around
Cuz the day you realize how amazing you are
You're gonna leave me

You're the only one who
Holds my hair back when I'm drunk and get sick
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

Exactly what I mean

Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground

I've gots a job. I've gotsa jooooooooooooooooooooob!!!

And it's $10 an hour.

And it's at my aunt's house (it's chris's home run buisness).

And it's a jooooooooooooooooooob...

And I get to sit online and do stuff and design logos and write things and ship and weeeeeeeeeee!!!

I've gotsa joooooob!!

talked 2 matt. wow. missed him.

now im confused as all hell.

but heres a pretty song he wrote

Im dying to tell you

i am lying awake, i know what i told you, you know i guess i lied
i am lying awake, thinking about you, wondering whether
you are lying awake , thinking about me, wondering the same
well i guess we're all shut out, we're both alone, ain't it funny that way?

whatever happened to those runaround games of phone calls we would make
it's so unbecoming of you to swear that you miss me, we know you don't
whatever happened to everything that we held dear
it's so undeniable, it has to be, our first and only...our first and maybe...

i am playing at this, writing you these songs you know by heart
are you even listening, you must get tired of walking that thin line
well tonight, i'll tell myself it's all my fault again
that i'm finding out there's only one thing that i should believe in

i'm dying to tell you
i'm dying to let you know
every breath i breathe is for you
i'm dying to tell you
i'm dying to figure you out
i've found this is real and i'm not letting go

whatever happened to those runaround games of phone calls we would make
it's so unbecoming to swear that you miss me, i know you don't
whatever happened to promises of a tomorrow coming
it's so undeniable, it has to be, it has to...

whatever happened to that sense of purpose we had in the rain
it's so childish to think that any of this will linger on
whatever happened to, saturday cartoons and our favorite holidays
i'd take it all back for just one forever after

So yes. Wensday.

School was ultra fascinating... I mean 2 straight hours of Math B... Fun stuff. Talked to Steve and Brig for like 10 minutes during break and then did some more of that math stuff. Then me and Brig ate pizza in the park while we waited for Marielle and Karen. Then we all (we all being me, John, Juin, brig, Chirag, Jill, Alexandra, Ben, Karen, and Eber) went to Applebees and then to see spiderman 2 (again) at BT. Johns got such pretty eyes... sigh. Anyway, Eber is very cool (and cute), but apparently he thinks I'm crazy. Then we went to Peter Pan for a while and the guys left to Eber's and Karen, Marielle, and I went home and Brig and Jill and everyone else stayed and did stuff. And that's pretty much it.

4 days till he leaves. Bleh. Kind of sad. Stupid brain. Stop thinking.

Went to the village for like an hour today... stupid aunt lilly and nancy the whore. Aunt Ivonne and Chris got me and eri some pina colatas so it wasnt a complete waste.

My addiction to Degrassi is (more than) kind of sad.

you know sometimes in the course of human events something comes along that no one can explain...and when that happens it is deemd evil and thrown into something that has fire in it (always fire...never ice...or wheat thins or something) so now that no one has an understanding of love i guess by that measure it is evil and should be thrown into fire...or at least a burning heart

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=straight_on_til_mourning

so some bitch named sarah stole the blog site "Queen of everything". I mean... for all I know she could be very kind. But who cares? Don't ask why I went there... just taking a stroll down memory lane...
----
Okay, so I know none of you want to hear it and it is probably way too much information... but yeah, its my blog and ill do what I want. So... he does this finger kissing thingy that drives me absolutely insane. He also called me a distraction (at the movies... and no, I didn't even kiss him once) which I took as an immense compliment and yeah... dammit. I miss him already... 6 weeks is a loooong time...

Me: Why are boys so stupid?
El Greco: Where'd that come from?
Me: Phil* would rather fix Amy's* Tv than play with her... and Amy took her shirt off. Not that you will be seeing me with my shirt off in the near future.
El Greco: Well... Tv is important. And to answer your original question, we're not stupid, just a little slow. And I know I won't be seeing you without your shirt on because my eyes will be clearly fixated on the tv.

Guys are so stupid.

*names have been changed

Random Question:
The first time you had your shoes taken off - how surprised were you to see that you still had toes?

Very. I mean, I could barely feel them in the shoes... its not that it was painful and I had thought they'd fallen off, but more like I'd forgotten that I'd still had them. This is why I like to go barefoot... like that guy in that movie where the plane crashes and Tom Hanks gets stranded on an island with this volley ball named Wilson... kind of looked like a friend of mine, ironically named Wilson. He's kind of buff and Asian-y, not that I'm trying to stereotype anyone. He's quite handsome actually. But not as handsome as my friend Danny. Danny's pretty damn hot. He's always talking about some Bill Cosby movie... hey, did you know that Bill Cosby advertises Jell-O? Well he does. The other nite danny had an out of body experience and magically appeared and the party I was at and encouraged me to take Jell-O shots. Or at least I think he did... I'm not sure if I began taking the shots before or after I saw a filmy gossamer like substance that looked quite alot like fog if Danny were fog of course. Anyway, This kid Jeff made it pretty clear it was all Danny's fault... somehow connecting Danny to Bill Cosby to Jell-O to Jell-o shots to my getting a bit tipsy and giving him bad directions to pick me up from the so called party to allow me more drinking time to my getting sick the next morning. It's all Danny's fault. everything is. Now... what was the question again?

The story of a post-it whore

Errarical. Purple cellophane. Unrealistic. Dangerously sane. Over-dramatic. Bell blvd. "Post-it whore". These are the things that remind me of one of the most important and influential people in my life. My partner in crime, my other half. These are the words that remind me of my best friend Laura.

I can still remember the day I met Laura Prevete, more commonly known as "Pyro", Larrie-poo, or sugarbuns. It was the August before my freshman year of highschool. I remember being terrified at the thought of a new place, a very large new place where I knew no one. It was "August madness", some sort of orientation-type ritual thingy in which you sit around with kids who share the same first letter of your last name and explore the school, as well as meet with a student peer counseler who is suppossed to try and make the whole highschool ordeal a bit easier to deal with.

Although I later found out that Laura was in my cor (prep for home room), she apparently went to the wrong room that day. As fate would have it, we had the same peer counseler, along with a few boys named Jack, Pork-chop, and Alex. I can perfectly recall our first conversation. I, the ever adherent boy band fanatic, had asked Laura if she preffered N'SYNC or The Backstreet Boys. Laura stared at me as though she were trying to mentally eat my soul.

It was a beautiful begining. Larrie, the cynical and antisocial writer-ette, and I, The hyper active and loud artist. We were complete oppossites and a perfect match at the same time. Not only did we share cor, but our lockers were also right next to eachother. I'd throw all my crap in hers, and we'd exchange post-it notes almost daily, not to mention passing incredulous notes in Math class.

Throughout our years at prep our friendship grew stronger.

She dated Joe the Pumpkin head, and I was thrilled for her. She broke up with Joe the Pumpkin head, and I immediately had complete contempt for him for having the nerve to dare hurt my best friend. Our freshman year was filled with lunches in lesbo lane, because we were way too "cool" to sit in the cafeteria, and although we never said anything, I know it was because we were both terrified. By the end of the year we had formed a "posse" with Stephanie and Laura B., and even took a trip to give out flowers on Bell blvd.

Sophmore year came with changes, but we endured them together. For the first time, our lockers weren't next to eachother, and we didn't have any classes with one another, but our friendship still grew stronger. I started dating a good friend of hers, Steve (I can still remember her screaming "Mom!! Steve held Jens hand at LOTR!! Oh My GOD!!! My STEVE!!! My JEN!!!), and I know that although she loved us both, we kind of pissed her off. That year, the fellowship also formed: Sir Steve of eccentricity, Laura of fire, Jen of punk, Roma of Quietsometimes, Ed and Richard of Gamerstown, and Rob of fucked up. It slowly grew and extended to include the likes of Tracey, Chris Smith, Kayla, Cia, and even Nicky. We did everything together, whether it be attending sweet 16s, having movie marathons, or having foodfights in the hidden paintball feild. We were all in it together. Sophmore year was also the year of our first fight. I can still recall it exactly...

Laura:"God, how can we do stuff together if you always have your tounge down his throat!!??"
Me:"I don't! That's part of the problem!"
Laura: "Whore!"
Me:"Bitch!"

Then I preceded to storm up the stairs. And as it turns out we both ended up crying hysterically whilst laughing hysterically and making up in the next five minutes. Later that year, we threw a surprise party for her. Although she says she didn't want one, we all know it was the time of her life. The year was a tough one, and I spent alot of time in the hospital, but I can remember her calling me and cheering me up, always letting me know that no matter how alone I felt, she would always be there. Like a best friend should be... like a sister. The year came and went and by the summertime, Steve and I had broken up. I think that she is one of the few people who knew how much of an effect this had on me... and even through my whining and bitching, she always stood by my side... and even understood why I had to leave the group of friends I had loved so dearly when Junior year came. And I love her for it. Whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on, she'd cry with me.

Junior year didn't prove to be any less hectic, and she understood my subconsious need to over dramatasize everything that was going on. I know I may be spoiling a secret here, but it is essential to my story. I remember the day she told me that she liked Steve. I remember trying to be okay, and trying to be happy. She is a beautiful person... one of the most beautiful people I have ever met... and Steve deserved that. So from that day on I sucked it up and "took one for the team... and by that, I mean I hid in the bathroom and cried. At that point I couldn't be around her or Steve, it wasn't that I didn't want to... I just couldn't. I can recall one gym class when she just started crying and apologizing... It was then that I realized that I couldn't let anything stupid get between us... and that I had been an idiot thinking that Larrie would even dream of hurting me like that. We hugged and cried and again, as in all our previous diosagreements, ended up hysterically laughing. Junior year came and went, I was diagnosed with a panic disorder and started recieving counseling, and through it all Laura remained by my side, like a true friend. Soom she began dating Chris Smith, and although we had alot less time for eachother, our friendship still grew strong. By this time we knew that we could go without talking for ages, but one day meet up again and it would be as if though nothing changed. Boyfriends came and went and Laura continued her ritual of snide remarks and post-it's reading "whore". I, of course, continued giving her post it birthday murals on the inside of her locker, and the guys, of course, continued playing tricks like (in the begining of the year) switching all of our books to eachother's lockers. By the end of the year she had fallen in love, and I had fallen in like with someone who means alot to me. And we got through it all together.

As of the present moment, I sit here writing this in a nostalgic manner, remembering all of the good times, and all of the not so good times we have had together. Next year will be the biggest change as of yet, We will be going to different schools, and I know that it will be difficult to see one another considering she lives on the other side of Queens... but I know that if we have made it through this far, we'll make it through another year together.

As I write this, I flip through an old shoe box filled with post it notes, pictures, and a christmas card that means more to me than almost anything. Notes of our "band", On the West Side, and of the adventures we've had thus far. And I realize how much Laura has done for me. I have come a long way since I was 14 years old, and pretty soon, I will be leaving to college. Most likely very very far away from Laura Prevete. I know that as the years pass, the times in which we talk will grow less and less, and our friendship will change. One day, we won't be besties anymore, but rather a pair of old souls that spent an important part of their lives together a long time ago. And yet, I am confident that if years pass without us speaking, one day I will pick up the phone and dial her number, and we will speak as if no time had ever past. Laura changed my life. She helped me discover who I reall am, and who I wanted to become. And for that I am trully grateful.

As a very wise little rascal once said,"You only make a once-in-a-lifetime friend once in a lifetime." She is more that just a best friend. She is a soul sister. Laura, you will always be the beautiful girl with wild red hair and fire in her eyes. Not to mention someone who could knock me out with he nunga nunga's. Laura Prevete, you are my post-it whore.

Quote of the day:
"If the mountain won't go to Mohammad, then Mohammad is gonna pile up a few rocks and pretend it's the damn mountain."
-Larrie-poo

Hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption, winding in and winding out.... I am vindicated. I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right, I swear I'm right... I swear I knew it all along...

Went out with John wensday... We were sitting on a bench and his arm was around me (snogfest?) and this tiny little old man looks at John and smiles and winks. He was the cutest thing. I wanted to put him in my pocket. I thought Laura might aprreciate this.

Thursday- baseball with the guys + Marielle. We're such stereotypical girls. We actually started playing catch at one point (instead of laying in the grass listening to emo and writing in little black/plaid journals and tanning) when a group of wasps (like 47 million) started hovering over us. Which is when me and Marielle screamed "run!" and ran away back into the shade to continue writing and such. Then Sebastian/Juin/John attempted to teach me how to bat which resulted in me finally hitting the ball really really hard... into (unfortunately) John's stomache. He laughed it off... but I'm pretty sure it hurt.

I'm going to miss Larrie... I mean really miss her. I think she's what I'm going to miss most in the world... I mean.. I barely seeher as it is.. and our lockers are next to eachother and we're in the same cor... and agh. I love laura.. I can't gooooooo.......

I am vindicated. I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right. I swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along.