My so called life

I don't like what it says here. I'll update it when I feel inspired.

Sunday, April 27, 2003



This is just a test to see if I still remember how to post pictures with html. The above makes fun of emo boys, which is mean, yet funny all the same.

Punk rock princess
The D4- Heartbreaker


Okay the party was a huge success! I haven’t really written in the past 3 weeks because I’ve been busy planning and I didn’t want give any hints of Laura’s surprise party. It went great. Josh showed up but he couldn’t stay. Laura looked SO beautiful in her dress with her cut. It’s soooo short. It’s like my hair length except when her hair curls up its going to be like chin length. But she looks beautiful anyway. These were exact words when she came down and we shouted surprise:

“Oh my god, I hate you all! You all knew about this!!?? Oh my god,” Then she covered her face with her hand and turned around crying and mumbling “I can’t believe you.”

It was so great. And then she went upstairs and changed into her pretty retro-dress. It was so great. The party was so boring until she showed up. I wanted her birthday to be perfect so Steff and I spent a very long time making everything great, and it was. Everyone looked so nice. Roma looked soooo beautiful. Her hair was straightened and she was in a really pretty baby blue dress and she just looked so pretty. Steff had this slinky black thing on with blue converse sneakers and she looked so cute and steff-like with her red hair. Laura was in a cute black and pink vintage-almost dress and it looked so cute with her orangey-reddish-brown flipped out straightened hair. Cia looked gorgeous in a navy blue/black dress with tiny little stars on it and her hair was curled and it had blue sparkles in it. She was wearing spikes and bangles and she looked like the total punk-rock princess. I was just Jen, with a pretty purple dress and my hair was up and I had tiny clips and umbrellas in there somewhere. Nicky was all formal like nice boy, with a shirt and tie and everything. Rob looked so cute, but about 45 minutes upon arrival he tackled Ed and got grass stains all over himself. He had the food-picker-upper/weapon on mass destruction/boob-scratcher (don’t ask). He looked so adorable though. Ritchie was all punked out with liberty spikes and a silver tie and basically just dressed in black. He looked so cute though. Ed looked cute too… like a potato. Steve got his hair cut and it looks so nice, I missed him so much so it was nice to hang out with him even though everyone was making sly remarks. Billy was also there, I met him once last year but we didn’t talk as much as we did Friday night. He’s pretty cool. Josh came looking feminine but his hair is growing out so he doesn’t look like such a moron anymore. Kayla and Laura B couldn’t make it though. I wish Kayla was there, it felt empty without her.

Anyway, Laura got free ice cream for the ice-cream man aka “Z”. We skipped up and down the street while the guys tackled each other. We danced around insanely. There was the whole popcorn-boob thing. We had pizza and cake with was awesome. It was the best freaking cake I’ve ever had in my ENTIRE LIFE. (hint to as what I want for my birthday). We also watched some stupid mini-movie type animations online which were funny as hell (Lo Bob! Muffins!!!!!!! Strong Bad email!!) By the end I was falling asleep on top of Steve. And it was good. I got home around 2 and didn’t go to bed till an hour after. My camera decided to stop working so I am now miserable. But hopefully I’ll give some money to Roma to make me doubles. Overall the party was a huge success and I felt all pretty and my best friend was having the time of her life. And we have it all on video!!! So it was good. Well that’s about all for now. Just wanted to update what we did, but I must do homework now. I love you all!!!!

Mucho amor <33
~Jenna
PS. Cheese sandwich…

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

It's gonna be a lovely day
I feel so pretty today. I woke up and danced around my room in my underwear (monkies!!!) to Something Corporate- punk rock princess and I've been all happy and hyper all day. I made a dress and i painted my nails and I did homework and I watched this cool movie. I plated the sims and I made my dream house and I called Gil but he wasn't home and theres a metior shower tonite but it's too cloudy/bright to see any shooting stars... all I'm getting are cleverly disguised planes/helicopters so I will try again before dawn. And I love steve and I made fun of Josh (the femninity of it all!!) and I talked to Ed and I tried calling Timmy but he wasn't around yA kNoW wHa' i'M sAyInG HoMiE G?
Oh and Jessie called wich was good and I ran out of grape Gatorade!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! THAT IS BAD... VERY VERY BAD!!!!

*EXPLODES*


You are Psychic!


What's Your Magic Power?
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You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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Innocent
Innocent


What's your sexual appeal?
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umm... okaaaaay...

Sad
You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly
everything and is constantly wondering about
what could have been.You're not happy with your
situation and usually blame yourself because of
the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
But I'm not sad.

Cocaine
Cocaine.
You like to talk,
you like to run,
but most of all you like to have fun.


Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
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Drugs are bad, I don't do drugs.


Your Heart is Red


What Color is Your Heart?
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cute but psycho
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse


which happy bunny are you?
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Bunnies!!

I am not a type of music
You're nothing, really. But you're nice.


What type of music are you?
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gee... what a confidence booster.

arial
Arial - You're pretty normal. That's certainly not
a bad thing, as a lot of people like you.


What Font Are You? (Standard Fonts)
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God-Fearing Virgin
You are a GODFEARING VIRGIN.


What Kind of Virgin Are You?
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They make it sound like a negative thing.

cute flirt
Cute Flirt


What Kind of FLIRT are you?
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Brown Eyes


What Color Eyes Should You Have?
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Brown eyed girl... muahahahaha...

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

And by the way...
Laura don't think I forgot about you... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! I LOVER YOU!! Besties for life, you are the bestestestestestest person and i love you sooooo much!

My name is Jen
Let it be known that I am the luckiest girl on the planet. I have great friends and a journal and the bestestestest guy in the entire world. He's insane and cool and funny and sarcastic and weird and artistic and creative and he has the most amazing eyes and he is a complete moron and he means the world to me and I love him soooosososoooo much, even more than I love grape gatorade. That is all.

Sunday, April 20, 2003

I am the Ideal Lover

Most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age. They find themselves disappointed by people, events, reality, which cannot match their youthful ideals. Ideal Lovers thrive on people's broken dreams which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communion? The Ideal Lover reflects your fantasy. He or she is an artist creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment and baseness, there is limitliess seductive power in following the path of the Ideal Lover.

Symbol: The Portrait Painter. Under his eye, all of your physical imperfections disappear. He brings out noble qualities in you, frames you in a myth, makes you godlike, immortalises you. For his ability to create such fantasies, he is rewarded with great power.


What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society



Saturday, April 19, 2003

Your love is extravegant... your love is intimate
full name: Jenise-Marie Pollock
nicknames: to family- Jenni, JP, Jay, to friends- Jenna, Jen, 'Niece To a select few- Jalepeno, Jenny Jen, Punk Ballerina, Goober, to Alex- Freak
birthday: July 31
age: 15
astrological sign: Leo
favorite food: pizza
least favorite food: fish
favorite colors: black, red, navy blue, yellow.... and orange and bright green
favorite animal: dolphins/horses/Orcas
school: sfp
dream: To make a difference in the world and for my writings to someday help someone
eyes: hazel/brown
height: 5'4"
hair: Brown/red
siblings: Kimmy-12, half brothers and sisters- Angie (14), Alex (19)
location: New York
sex: female
righty of lefty: righty although it would be so cool to be ambidextrous


************************
root beer or dr. pepper: grape gatorade
sunshine or rain: sunshine because it makes me feel happy inside and rain because it's romantic and fun to play in
vanilla or chocolate: vanilla ice-cream, chocolate cake
summer or winter: I prefer spring because it's happy and filled with laughter and fall because it makes you think and everything is changing all the time
love or lust: love
diamond or pearl: tiny little diamonds
sleep with stuff animals: yep lots of em
ever broke/sprained/fractured anything: yes, broke my ankle 3 times, my wrist, and my growth plate
do you sing in the shower: all of the time
who are your best friends: I have so many... my little sister Kimmy, The fellowship (Rob, Laura, Rich, Steve, Roma, Ed) + Kayla and Cia and Steff and the after-school gang + Jordan, Tim, and Jessuh(<3)
do you share secrets with people: with a select few
favorite flower: Daisies/sun flowers
where's your favorite place to go: the roof of my apartment building aka the top of the world and the water hole/backyard up by Jessuh
funniest thing you've seen today: I have to agree with kaylla on this one: a guy standing in a phone booth for an ENTIRE movie... oh yeah and the whole collision of Steve and his friend in which their was masive flipping and minor injuries
what are you scared the most of: Being completely helpless, war, losing my sister, any of my friends dying
how many rings do you wait for when the phone rings: what kind of question is this?
do you have more guy friends or gal pals: more guy friends, but my girlfriends are the best girls out there so I would say it's about equal

*******************
parents names: Rey (Reinaldo) and Daisy(desceased), but my aunt Ivone has partial custody of me so she's like a parent too
pets: at my aunt's house (where I live half the time)- my big puppy (shes a golden retriever) Cody, my Yorkshire Willy, Lucy my little white puppy, and last but not least Elmo- he's getting a little old and has arthritis but he's my baby... he's a shitzu
tattoos: nope
loved somebody so much it made you cry: yes
been in a car accident: yes but i'm okay thank God
favorite holiday: Christmas makes me happy
favorite day of the week: Wensday- DANCE!!
favorite toothpaste: Colgate Total
favorite drink: grape gatorade/pina colatas
preferred type of ice cream: cookies -n- cream!!
when was your last hospital visit: January I think
have you ever been convicted of a crime: lol no... I'm a good girl
which single store would you choose to max out your credit cards: barnes and noble/Target
what do you do most often when you are bored: write, read, write, write some more, skate, listen to music
name the person that you are friends with who lives the farthest:Jordan in Misery... Shnooooooooooooow!!! hehe!! I loves ya!
favorite all time TV shows: WIll and Grace, Boy meets world


***************
whom do you love: I love everyone
if you could have any job at all in the world, what would it be: a writer or a missionary... actually anything in which I can help as many people as I can
do you believe in love: Love is one of the most important things in the world
do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone: with all my heart
is romance important in your life: yes
are you or have you ever been in love: yes, yes
have you ever kissed in the rain: no... it's something I'd like to try
would you be willing to embarrass yourself just to see your significant other smile: Yes...
have you ever kept items from particular dates (ticket stubs, receipt from dinner, etc.): yup
do you believe in soulmates: yes
do you believe that you have already found your soulmate: I might have... might just be under my nose
would you ever have sex with a person before you fell in love with them: no... I wouldn't even CONSIDER sex until after I'm married
what is the longest relationship that you have ever been involved in: Offical- 4 months, non official- a little over a year
do you want to get married: someday
do you believe in forever: yes


************
describe your dream wedding: somewhere beautiful, a long white elvin dress, my best friends and family, the most wonderful guy in the world... to me at least
what do you plan to do this summer: work, hang out, do some ministry work in Manhattan
describe your dream house: If i'm single - a cool loft in manhattan where I can work on my art/music and my writing, if I'm married- somewhere away from the city, but not too far from my friends and family, where its so dark outside that you can't see your hand, where my kids can be safe and have the time of their lives all at the same time
how much money do you have in your wallet right now: $0

************
made out with just a friend: no
been rejected: strangely... no
used someone: no
been used: yes
been kissed: yes
done something you regret: yes


************
color your hair: yep... what can I say? I get bored easily... and there's but so much of your hair that you can chop off
have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both: yep
floss daily: yep... I like my teeth
own a webcam: yep
ever get off the damn computer: eventually


***********
considered a life of crime: muahahaha.....
considered being a hooker: no
considered being a pimp: nope
are you psycho: i don't think so...
split personalities: no.. my precisous....
schizophrenic: Stop it!! Leave us alone!!!
obsessive: with some things
obsessive compulsive: nope
panic: i keep my head
anxiety: yeah
depressed: sometimes
current worry: That I won't make enough money this year to go to Guatemala/Panama next summer
current favorite celebrity: Oliver James/Jimmy Fallon/Matt Theissen from RK.. oh and Chris Tomlin


***************
friend(s) you go to for advice: Rob, Laura, Jessie, Kayla, Ed
friend(s) you have the most fun with: fellowship and the after school crew/Jessie and JC/ Kelly, Keely, Corey and Jessica Hylton while in Ohio

***************
dark or blond hair: Dark
mr. sensitive or mr. funny: Mr. Funny
dark or light eyes? Medium eyes... I really love green/grey eyes
all american, homey g, punk, mod or grunge: why do i have to pick a type? original

*********
chocolate milk or hot chocolate: chocholate milk
mcdonalds or burger king: Mcdonalds
marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend: friend
sweet or sour: I think you have to have a little of both
sappy/fantasy/action/comedy/horror: fantasy/sappy/action... mission impossible!!!
cats or dogs: dogs
ocean or pool: I like lakes
cool ranch or nacho cheese: cool ranch
with or without ice cubes: with
cake or cookies: I don't eat that much junk food... i prefer goobers
gloves or mittens: gloves... although mittens are cute
chewing gum or hard candy: I like pixie sticks
lights on or off: off... so i can see the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling

**********
would you name a child of yours after you: nope
what's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name: They say Jenise Like Janice... ya know Chanlers horrible ex girlfriend on friends or Pollock as Polaak
if you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like madonna, cher, roseanne): maybe

***********
do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69: haha!... no
were you lying about your answer to the previous question: uh no
do you actually know your social security number: yepp
do you actually know your ip address: no
do you know what an IP address is: yes
do you know the four-character extension on your zip code: there are 4 other numbers?

***********
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
when was the last time you let the people you love know you love them: uhm... now... I LOVE YOU ALL!!
what do you want the people who are reading this survey to know: Hey you guys, you all rock and I love ya!!

God must hate me/have a sick sense of humor.
I pray God forgive me for saying that but that’s how I feel at the moment. I mean some good things have happened like I got back together with Steve which is good because I miss him and I love him and yeah. Bad stuff that’s happened- Dad is on the brink of blowing up. The only reason he hasn’t exploded (And only few of you know what I mean when I say EXPLODE) is because we have company but I was scared he would. I had an anxiety attack for the first time in months today. It was so bad… I forgot how scary they were. I felt like I couldn’t take in air fast enough… like I was drowning. Then I like run out of the room crying because I’m angry and scared and I can’t breathe and I try telling him how bad I feel… That my heart hurts… he’s just like “make it stop before I beat it out of you” then he pulled me and Kim into his bedroom and threatens all this stuff and makes us feel like crap and hate each other even more and he separates us for like 2 hours. Me in his room WITH him and Kim in the bedroom. Oh God it was horrible. I’ve never disliked someone so much in my entire life. I have this horrible stress headache and I feel like I’m slowly dying. I mean at least its better now… I was just dancing around the room with Kimmy, proving my dad wrong and talking about how much we both hated him… I mean we fight a lot, but we always bond. She’s my best friend and even though she hit me really hard and I had to punch her today because I threw her stuff off my bed which started the whole fight and lecturing and animosity with dad, we’re still cool. It was so funny because he was like “God is telling me to make peace with you but he also tells me to bring this (holding up a belt) into the conversation” and how he’ll beat us if he has to come into the room again. No one asked him to interfere. He should have just stayed out of it. It would have made it a little easier to not hate him. Me and Kim can handle stuff… it’s been just the two of us almost our whole lives (since I was 8 and she was 5… when our mom died) even before that when my mom was sick. I mean no ones ever cared about us… we have to take care of each other. I just wish my dad would stay out of it and stop trying to get us all to hate ourselves. He’s been worse now that he’s not drunk all the time. I mean he used to be cool before Jaymie. He never tried hitting us or cursing at us or making us feel so horrid. Then they broke up and he got even worse. Then he started getting drunk. And I mean it was bad for his health but he was never around and he didn’t even notice us so we took care of ourselves and he never hit us or anything and all was well. He doesn’t really hit us anymore but he’s always cursing and then shoving a bible down our throats and MAKING us go and pray. Like he’s forcing me and Kim to do this bible thing in church together cause he really liked when we sang together a few years ago. But the difference then was that we planned it and we both wanted to do it. Now it’s like he’s having “visions” and he wants to and blah. I feel bad because I’m making him sound so bad when most of the time he’s not this bad and it hasn’t been this bad in so long. But I’m so upset and hurt and stuff. So everyone don’t take this seriously because I’m probably overexagerating (hyperbole) because I hate him right now.

I’ll be back later… I’m done complaining. When I come back I’ll have something NICE to say.

Cheese sandwich… except real.
Mucho amor <33
~Jenni

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Sometimes I look into your eyes, and I forget... and before I can force myself to remember, you change my world all over again.

Monday, April 14, 2003

BLACK
Your blood is black. You're not evil, though some
people mistake what you do and say. You
embrace the shadows and striking when your
enemy least expects it.


What color is your blood?
brought to you by Quizilla


You non conformist you! Your Minority!


What Green Day Song Are You?
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face="verdana" size="1">



Take the "What
color are your Harry's boxers?"
quiz by Yumi

Your Harry is energetic and fun to be with. He can never seem to
sit still -- he's always in motion, whether he's pulling pranks, trying out
various Quidditch moves on his new broom or spending time with you.
Despite this, you both still find time to stop and smell the roses -- or perhaps
it would be more accurate to say, to stop and snog each other senseless.


Strawberry: 60/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 30/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 10/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by Ellen and Aaron!




what color are you?



You are Urban Decay!


What (non drugstore) Makeup Brand Are You?
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Jersey shore
hola everyone... ive been sick and working on some stuff for my english class and trying to score an internship at the NY times so I haven't had time to write. My deepest apologies all. Prush won! Josh won! Smith won! Billy won! Kiesha's gonna get her friends to beat me up! anyway... lol... its so beautiful outside. And i have stuff tos ay to my friends... so here it all goes:::

Laura Poo, I lover you so much. Hypothetically of course.... FLAFLOOPA!!! and never forget bell blvd. ! I still have the battle scars from the day you bit me... cannibal
Kayla Rose, you are so sweet and nice and such a beautiful person... I lover you so much!!! Don't worry... boys are dumb.
Cia- Pretty princess dress!! Always remember the days of dancing around your back yard and being sneaky!! I've gotta monkey on my butt!!
Bea- even though we don't talk much any more, know that your like a little sister to me. I love you!
Roma- Your a great gal and also remember the pointing bus-boy... yeah that was weird man..
Jessuh- MUAHAHA!! Water hole!! Aaron's orange boxers!! MADNESS!!
Jordan- I miss it too... all of the time i miss it. itll be okay again.
Rob- You are perhaps my best guy friend... We don't talk into all hours of the nite or hang out or have everything in common. We don't talk about the ecrets of the universe. But when it comes down to the important stuff, you mean the most to me. I love ya bro.
Ed- Your a moron and I love you. Even though I steal your money... and what you say and think DOES matter to me.
Steve- 'lo bob. It's all been said so many times... Jen-land.
Richie- thanx for making me feel special all the time... sorry for calling you a fish. I meant it in an endearing way ;-) Jazz hands!!
Timmy- always remember the days of fake stars... never change, i like ya the way you are =)
Joel- hows my favorite orb of energy? AHhh!!!! Run for your life!!!!!!!!1 The flutterbys are attacking!!! They've got me!!! No Joel! Run!! save yourself while you still can!!! ahhhh....
Carlos- stop stepping on my toes before I deck you. I love ya man... Almost as much as I love cheese. Too Bad your my dads favorite. Your like a brother to me... never change... and bring me back my Bleach CD!!!!
Cory and Kelly- tee hee... Blizzard rules... and Cory, keep pressin on!
Nicole- These aren't spirit fingers!! THESE are spirit fingers!!!... Cheerleaders are just dancers gone retarded!
Jenny, Miriam, Damaris, Valeska, Amira, Evalese- Muahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damaris will NEVER sit on my lap AGAIN... EVER!!


END <33

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Things seem lighter
I just looked out my window... And I saw a star... only it was a plane.

Think this is some sort of sign?

Planes mistaken for stars...

confusing times
Today has been.... weird. I think a group of gilrs are planning to beat me up... this girl got in my face and yelled and like a teahcer had to kind of stop everything and it happened twice today and all her friends are just like... blah. Not getting into it.

I'm talking to Jordan now and I'm crying... I don't know why. He's not hurting me and I'm not really sad. Maybe it's one of those girl things and I just need to get everything out of my system... I hope me and Jord are fixing things. Not only is he my best friend... he was the first guy I ever loved. I mean it seems so long ago but I guess things like that never REALLY leave you... I don't know what I'm talking about. Only 2 people really know about this because it all happened so long ago... the whole Diana thing and blah... I think it's just Larry and Jessuh... I don't know. Shutting up about this now...

Sometimes looking into steve's eyes is just hard... today I kissed him on the cheek before I left. I kind of did it unconsiously and he just stood still and I don't know. He's another one that has had such a big impact on my life.... it's one of those things that just never really leaves you.

Okay so Jordan isn't my best friend because apparantly when one goes to college and doesnt have time to talk to the other and stuff then the friendship kind of eases down and since we havent talked much in the last few months because of reasons unnamed I guess we're not beties anymore. I mean... I think if someone means that much to you than thart spot in your heart they have is never gone but I dont knwo. We've agreed to stay in better contact but I don't knopw. I'm so naive and clueless all the time. I always think things are okay when theyre not and even when I know theyre not I still act like things will get better cause I really think they will because if something is destined (only one of you is meant to know this so dont ask) to happen... then I think it'll happen and I don't know... I make no sense... shutting up now.

And I'm still crying... maybe it's a mixture of things. I know it seems like I tell everyone my problems but I don't mean it like that... my blog is my refuge... when I pour my feelings out in writing, things seem to clear up. I mean with Keisha I just dont know why someone would be mean to me and accuse me of stuff... especially someone I considered a friend. And then get all her other friends to threaten me. I mean I'm a nice person... I'm kind and I love everyone. And I didn't even do anything to her... I just don't know why someone would be mean. Scott's overseas and I haven't heard from him in so long and I'm so worried about him... I mean if anything happens.... we don't talk much anymore but he's still in my heart... I don't want anything bad to happen to him. Theres the Steve thing. There's the Tim thing. Theres the friends who arent friends thing... theres just alot. I mean I know my friends l;ove me and I love them... But I don't know. Theres the day thing... Just because my friends love me... it doesnt mean that I don't need my dad too. Theres this Jordan thing and everythings mixed up in my head about him. Theres just so much in my head and in my heart and I can't keep it in and I don't know what to do because my heart is saying one thing and my brain is telling me to do another. And I know this will just make everyone say "I'm here for you"... but they can't be there for me because sometimes I just need to get through things myself. These aren't things people can help me with... Only I can help me. I have to learn to accept reaility... but I like mydream world. I like where my mind takes me... I don't want to live in the real world because if I do... I'm afraid I'll break. Maybe this is just one of those things that will be forgotten tommorrow... but maybe its bigger that that. I don't even know what I'm saying. Confusion is taking over... my mind is clouding over... I need to lay in the fetal position for a long time and just whine and whimper and feel self pity and blah... I don't know. Maybe tommorrow will be more enlightened.
adios <33 nite

Friday, April 04, 2003

love now, foodfight later..
Okay so as you have probably heard, there was a huge foodfight. But I cannot write about it now because my sister is here and she is evil and has a very large mouth. So instead I will talk of other things. In Laura's blog, she discussed love and life and all those artistic things. Sometimes I wish I could be more like her... I mean not completely. But she's so Carpe Diem... so adventurous. Not that I don't like the way I am... There are just some things I don't have the guts to do... but she's my best friend thus forcing me into it. Like the foodfight... I probably wouldn't have concocted something like that on my own, but I was brought into it. I mean we're completely opposite of eachother, and I love that.

Like Laura... I like to think of her as very cavalier.. seize the day... travel the world... go to collge in New Zealand... that's just Larry. Me? Well, I like to think of myself as a more metaphysical person. I'm more of a dreamer. I could sit around all day just thinking and dreaming and writing and dancing and singing. I don't want to live in a big city... I would rather live somewhere away from everyone. Somewhere where the stars are the brightest thing at night.... where it's so dark you can't even see your hand. Somewhere with a big lake and horses and just somewhere beautiful... somewhere at the edge of the world. Laura on the other hand wants to travel the world... explore... find herself. I wish I could do that sometimes. I want to travel the world too... but for different reasons. I want to go to Guatemala or somewhere and help people. I never want anyone to hurt again. I wish I could fix the world... fix everyone. I'd suffer a life of excruciating pain if only no one would ever have to hurt again... oh hell, if just one person would never have to hurt again id do that.

Another thing is that Laura is so scared of love. I mean I am too... but I'm so open all of the time. I fall in love every 5 minutes... and I love it. But sometimes I just wish i didn't make myself so vulnerable. I'm always hurting because of it. I mean... I just want that one special person. Just to find him... I mean maybe I already have. I don't regret anything... I don't believe in that... but sometimes... I don't know. Laura closes herself off alot... I don't know if its because shes scared or because shes waiting, but she knows whats shes doing. She's so strange... half of the time she's sarcastic and cynical... the other half of the time she's romantic and she sees the beauty in the world.

I don't even know how to describe myself... I like to think of myself and whimsical and creative. But I'm not sure if thats what I really am, or just what I want to be. I wish I was all romantic, but the truth is I'd rather talk and hang out and just run around carefree and crazily with a group of friends then sit alone somewhere cuddling. I don't like the whole making out thing either... i really don't. Hugs are more special to me than that. Tickles and jokes and games... having fun.. eating ice cream... renting movies and actually WATCHING them... thats whats important to me. When you can spend hours on the phone with someone just talking and talking... When they look beautiful to you no matter what... when every kiss is as special as the first... when you can see their soul through their eyes... Thats what love is to me. Like that snowday quote:

"Love is being able to around that person for 10 minutes at a time."

It's the little things that make it so special. Being able to just sit and laugh so hard it makes your stomache hurt. Dancing around a friends back yard with no cares in the world. It's sitting on a bed talking about dreams... It's about the memories and the laughs and the good times spent together. All the fun times... the things you'll remember forever. Love is giving out flowers on bell blvd with your best friend... It's exploring the forest and finding a paintball feild. It's about foodfights and dances. It's about over dramatisizing everything. It's about video games and long walks in the rain. It's about invented games and made up names. It's about running through the sand and long talks on the phone. It's about facing your fears, old phonebooths, and empty lockers. It's about a favorite CD. A certain song. It's about Hersheys kisses and special boxes. It's about pickles and cheese and orange tuxedos. It's about finding magic water holes and inventing worlds. It's about a cup filled with more marshmellows than hot chocolate. It's about sneaking out at night to meet friends by the swing set to look for shooting stars. It's about sneaking into houses after a day of fun. It's about friends and it's about enemies. That's what love really is. We all know that real stars don't shine bright, they glow softly. It's all about planes mistaken for stars.


entrancing
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
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